How to Free Those You Love

by | | Why Meditate?
Life & Death

Recently I facilitated a short ceremony. It turned out to be the most powerful few hours I’ve spent with others in a long time. By turning towards the shock & grief a sudden death brings, a brightness & wisdom can emerge.


Our brains are not meant to constantly be creating reality out of fear and judgement but often this is what’s happening unconsciously. These mental constructs become what we see instead of what’s actually there. This occurs in intimate relationships especially those with family members.  It become claustrophobic both to ourselves and others.

Being Seen Deeply

We are constantly changing. Being with people who understand this is incredibly liberating. I go on meditation retreats a couple times a year. What is remarkable about this is how quickly people change when they are practicing meditation. And how radically!  By working with our own minds we can free ourselves and those around us from ideas of who we think we are. This allows for rapid growth and transformation. People become more themselves which usually means more stunning & beautiful.

How does this work? By letting go of what we think on a daily basis, we are free to discover, change and develop. Essentially we also get over ourselves. Our stories, though important to some degree, are expressed fully and allowed to dissolve.

What does this have to do with being seen? By not holding others to a solid sense of who we think they are, we begin to see them for who they are right now. This is incredibly powerful.

Family, Death & Ceremony

 A dear friend’s mother completed suicide just over a month ago. My heart aches to think of it. During the ceremony we freed up any idea of who any of us thought she was. The vastness of her being, of all of our beings, is beyond concept.  Put simply, who we are is much bigger and less personal than we think.

Her life and death also taught me something of the richness shared between parent & child. The dance of learning that occurs, the depth of love and the role reversal when a parent becomes ill.

Ceremony allows us to quiet our mind so that the wisdom of the heart can be heard. In a very short time a transformation can occur in our understanding.  What it means to be alive, to be together & to die was felt.

Death can be embraced in a way that allows us to live more fully. By avoiding the discomfort we often feel around death, we miss out on a fundamental part of life. Everything is born, lives and dies. We are always transforming. Embracing this creates an ease with life that is absolutely joyful.




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